Don't Do It For Fame | Don't Neglect Your Relationships

03 // Don't do it to pursue fame.

I find this one to be difficult. The truth is I do want to be noticed. Behind that shallow layer of hoping I’m seen, the deeper truth is I want my life to matter. When I am writing, the pursuit of fame can surface with its natural gravitational pull.

Here is how it can sound,

“Maybe so-and-so will read this and then he will share it and then his six million followers will read it”.

It is a bit embarrassing to admit, but I believe you’ve heard this whisper also. When I was writing with my focus on being noticed, it was crap. No wonder no one read any of it. When I made the shift to simply be authentic, a few people began to notice. There is great irony in this principle. The more we are authentic and relevant, the more the possibility of being noticed increases.

When the pursuit of fame is our motive, the less authentic and relatable we become. Whatever you are pursuing, do a motive check and remind yourself that what the world really needs is you to be authentically you. That is our best bet for being noticed.

04 // Don't neglect your relationships.

A friend told me about a saying from his mentor, “The grass is greener wherever you water it.” I’ve been married for over twenty years and I have not always regularly irrigated our relationship. When I was age 25, I thought my wife could be more like xeriscaping: drought-tolerant. Turns out she never signed up for an inch of rain every three months. I’ve learned the hard way that growth comes where you regularly water.

Trust me, your spouse, your friends, your family, your significant other, your sibling, your neighbor, your employees, your child... would gladly receive some relational watering from you.

Go find that watering can.

I’ve found a lot of people talk a good game about consistency, but in reality, they have a lot of false starts. Many people seem to struggle with consistently doing the work that needs to be done, whether it is in our jobs, on side projects, or in our relationships.

02 // Work on what you love.

Life is short. You are really good at something. Find that something and do that. Drudgery is for prisoners doing time for crimes committed. You haven’t done anything wrong, right? Stop doing what you can barely stand doing and start pursuing what you love. Too many people never do what they love. Even worse, they don’t ever explore the frontier to find what it is they love.

Questions to ask yourself?

1. When you used to be adventures, what did you do?
   What did you love before you got married, had a family and got a big job?
2. What do you believe stands in your way today to reclaiming your adventurous spirit again?
3. How can you begin to choose differently in small increments to provide room for adventure again?